


Lost love

by AlyBear2000



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-04-02 17:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4068859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyBear2000/pseuds/AlyBear2000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teldryn Sero, a follower, was sent away from his last patron for making a terrible mistake. He goes back to the Retching Netch, but doesn't quite know what to do now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Adjusting

     Teldryn had finally arrived back in Raven Rock, after being dismissed by his patron, for making a mistake he knew he could never fix. He had nearly killed her by staying behind. By her, he meant the dragonborn. He hadn't known why she needed a follower in the first place, but he was glad that she chose him.

     He sat down in his usual spot, lost in his thoughts, when someone had approached him. It took him by surprise, to say the least.

     "I'd like to hire you." The man said. He was a nord, with brown hair which went to his shoulders, that didn't look brushed. In fact, he didn't look clean at all. You could tell by the stench, and Teldryn was surprised he could smell it through his armor. He couldn't hold back a gas reflex, but tried to muffle the sound. He really wanted to say no, he wanted her to come back, he wanted to follow her again and help her, but he couldn't refuse a customer. Teldryn had figured he could deny giving the Nord service because of the last time he went with a Nord. 

     "I'm sorry, I'm not available for hire right now." Teldryn had finally managed to say, after being lost in his thought and seeming so rude for not speaking. The Nord uttered an insult that Teldryn couldn't make out, but shrugged it off as the Nord left.

     He just kept sitting in his spot, thinking to himself, remembering all the good times he had with his partner, when she thanked him for being there, and for not being a coward, like she was most of the time. He remembered the one time a giant had ambushed her at her house, and she got scared and ran inside to stay safe while he fought. He remembered coming in with a limp, that she couldn't fix with a spell, so she shouted at him with what he thought was unrelenting force, which she told him about a lot, and although it hurt even more, he was able to get back up and she wouldn't stop saying how she was so happy he was okay and how she loved him.

     The fact that she so openly stated that she loved him so much always caught him off guard. He never knew if she was kidding or if she was serious, but he was glad she appreciated him. He appreciated her too, because she would take routes he had trouble walking on, so of course, she waited until he caught up so they could continue their journey. She seemed to like his company, so he was really unsure why she dismissed him .

     Then he remembered why. It was the most unfortunate timing they've ever had. A giant and a dragon were fighting. He knew that she didn't want to get caught up in it, but she looked at him and gave him the most comforting smile, as if they'd make it out of this without a scratch. He was really nervous. He'd fought off strange creatures, some seemingly invincible, with her. Dragon priests, ash spawn, you name it and they've probably fought it. So why was this a big deal for him? Why couldn't he do this? He froze in fear, completely unable to move, as if he had been paralyzed. He heard battle noises and watched as the dragon fell dead, but the giant was still alive, and hopefully she was too. He swung his giant club and stomped and almost killed her. All Teldryn could do was watch. He was filled with shame and fear, not only because he couldn't fight, but because he was unaware of how she would react. He was snapped back into reality by the giant falling dead, and then she had walked towards him, covered in cuts and bruises, the look of disappointment more than apparent on her face. She dropped her weapon on the ground and looked straight into his eyes. She only said two words, but they struck his heart more than anything. "Go home." She said, in probably the most stern voice he'd ever heard come out of her. He had taken a boat back to Solstheim, and had tried not to cry on the way back. 

     When he finally snapped back to the present time, the owner had shook him, worry apparent on his face. Teldryn had been there well past 1 am, which was when the place closed. He lost all track of time. When he was finally awake enough, he was told to go home. The way back, his mind was all fogged up, and he couldn't think straight. It was as if all his thoughts had been jumbled together and nothing made sense. Before he knew it, he had arrived at his house, more exhausted than he thought.

     He took off his armor and dressed in something more comfortable. He didn't worry about eating, he wasn't hungry. He crawled under his covers and went straight to sleep.


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teldryn Sero has nightmares and vivid memories of the time spent with his patron.

They were in Kolbjorn Barrow, after getting a second letter from a dunmer named Ralis Sedarys, asking the dragonborn to visit again, as he needed her assistance. They were nearing the end of this visit, when they came upon a trap. There had to be at least eight giant axes swinging side to side. As she waltzed through, not getting hit once, he stared at her going through, and waiting for him at the end of the trap. He noticed how gracefully she had moved, and notice a feeling in his stomach, which would be referred to as "butterflies". He was confused again, he's gotten butterflies around her before, but he never knew why. Teldryn was usually pretty independent, and never got feelings for another, especially not like this. The silence was broken with the dragonborn shouting across the hall, " You just going to sit there, or are we going to go in that room? " he chuckled at her sarcasm. He attempted to go across, but only to find that he was unable to move. Shocked at first, he started to panic. _Oh no,_ he thought to himself.  _Oh no oh no oh no. Not this again, please, anything but this again._ He was stuck in place. He couldn't move, he tried so hard, but he couldn't move. He started to sweat, and he was becoming very nervous, as the dragonborn grew impatient. She started tapping her foot and rolled her eyes, and proceeded to go on without him. 

     He wanted to scream, to beg her not to go, to wait for him. He didn't want her to leave him again. _Again._ The thought struck him, he didn't think she left once, much less twice. His train of thought was broken by a girlish scream and the clink of a weapon dropping.

     " **NO!** " Teldryn had screamed, as he sat up in bed drenched in sweat. His mouth was dry and he was panting.  _It was just a dream. It was all just a bad dream,_ he thought to himself. He had hoped to the nine divines that she was okay and that nothing bad has happened to her since she dismissed him. Whenever he thought of her, he made sure to remember to think of the nine divines, since he was pretty sure she didn't worship a daedra prince. The odd part about her is that she was a Khajiit. A Khajiit, the dragonborn, and the cutest female in all the nine provinces. He had gotten butterflies again, just by thinking about her. He missed her beyond belief, and he wished more than anything that she would come back to Solstheim to ask him to come with her again. He'd even pay her, he just wanted to be back with her.

     Teldryn's thoughts were broken when he heard a knock on his door. He had no idea what time it was or how long he had slept in, but it couldn't be good, because others were worrying. "One moment" Teldryn said, to dismiss the visitor for at least a few minutes. He put on his normal attire, putting on his light chitin armor which now seemed to hold too many memories. He didn't know why, but just putting it on had made him want to cry. He surely wasn't going to replace it, but he knew he'd have to get something new. Maybe the Elven armor she had given him? He didn't know why she gave it to him, it was in great condition. On his way out, Teldryn grabbed a sweet roll for breakfast. He knew it wasn't healthy, but he didn't care.

     He finally arrived to his usual spot at the Retching Netch. Teldryn didn't want to have a new patron. It felt as if he was getting over a heartbreak, of course, he's never been so attached to another living creature before, so it must be similar. Maybe withdrawal? He didn't know. He knew for sure that he wasn't going to accept any new patrons for a while. If anyone bothered to ask, he figured he could say he's not available. Unless  _she_ came along. If she asked, he'd accept it in a heartbeat. If she ignored him, he'd beg her to take him back, he'd swear not to make the same mistake again.

     He remembered the first time she asked. He was a bit agitated. Teldryn had figured that, because a female was asking for assistance, she was weak, and he'd do all the fighting. At that moment, he didn't know how wrong he would be. He didn't realize that she was the dragonborn. He didn't know she only wanted him for the company so she wasn't lonely. She did use him for safety, but she did more than her fair share of the fighting, and he was shocked at first. He first realized she was dragonborn when they had killed a dragon, and to his surprise, she absorbed it's very soul. He can clearly recollect the feeling he got that moment. It was as if someone had grabbed his stomach and started twisting it. He was scared, but immediately filled with adrenaline. It was in that moment that he realized that this wasn't any ordinary patron. Of course, he wasn't any ordinary follower either. She realized that soon too, and didn't hesitate to have a little fun. Although he didn't approve of it, he never protested. He never understood her definition of fun, but it was apparently pushing him off a cliff with a shout. She's done this multiple times, once even forcing him into a giant camp, which she claims was "vengeance for her horse". 

     As he recalled more of the fond memories he had with her, he tried to keep out the one bad one which seemed to be burned into the back of his mind permanently. He wondered if he could ever forget it, but he knew he wouldn't be able to until she came and took him back. Some part of him knew that would never happen, but he had hope, and as long as he had that, he could have some sort of happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was actually thinking of making another version of this story, when it's done, from the dragonborn's point of view.
> 
> If you like this story, please leave a kudos and if you want to know when a chapter is added, subscribe.
> 
> Constructive criticism is, again, appreciated.


	3. Dragonborn feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dragonborn has feelings on the whole situation too.

    "Teldryn," she said waiting for her follower to catch up, not realizing that he had been gone for a while now, "Teldryn come on. We can't wait for-" She stopped mid-sentence after remembering that he wouldn't be catching up, and felt a tightness in her chest while choking back tears. This has happened so many times she'd lost count, she waited for her beloved follower to catch up only to feel her heart break again realizing he won't catch up. She felt lonely most of the time, she hadn't gotten a new companion, she hadn't even tried to get  _romantically_ interested with someone, which hurt her more because she hadn't been in a relationship with Teldryn, although sometimes she liked to believe she was. Mostly because he didn't really believe in relationships, and she respected that, she was totally okay with the fact that they were really close friends. 

    In her home, more of a house without Teldryn, she has a mannequin with the armor he used along with a weapon plaque with his weapon. Every day, every night, she wondered  _"What's Teldryn doing?"_ Although she hates it, the dragonborn has to admit that she misses him. She sent him back to Solstheim in a fit of anger and she'd regretted it ever since. In fear that he would get mad, or just outright reject her, she had avoided asking him to be her follower once more. She wanted to avoid unnecessary conflict.

    Going through a dungeon one day, it had struck the dragonborn.  _I'll just get a house in Solstheim._ She knew it would be risky, but it would give her a chance to at least somewhat make sure he's okay, even if she doesn't get the chance to actually talk to her beloved ex-follower. She'll even avoid eye contact, as long as she can  _see_ him again.

    As soon as the dragonborn had cleared the dungeon, she traveled to Windhelm and took the soonest trip to Solstheim, which was surprisingly in the next hour. As soon as they set off, the dragonborn got nauseous. Not from sea sickness, but from fear. She couldn't help but think of  _what if_ and she didn't know of anything bad that would happen but those two little words were enough to make her ill. Enough to scratch at her insides and bring her to the edge of begging. Begging to turn back, begging for forgiveness, for anything at this point, but she just sat in the corner of the boat and waited. She waited and waited for what seemed like forever. They finally arrived and she stepped off the boat, onto the dock that brought so many memories flooding back in. Enough to cause the dragonborn to faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Sorry Sorry it's been so long I'm lazy this chapter is from the Dragonborn's perspective I guess


	4. Back in Solstheim

    When the dragonborn had finally woken up, she was confused. She wasn't even able to get a good look at her surroundings before someone checked on her, but from the dunmer accent, and the dunmer himself, she remembered she was in Solstheim, and after a few moments she remembered why too. Immediately, she got up and tried to leave but fell back down from dizziness. "Woah there, khajiit," an unfamiliar voice said, "take it easy." Hearing the advice, she got up slowly. The dragonborn looked around the room confused. The dunmer laughed and told her, "You're in the Retching Netch." In response the dragonborn simply nodded. She left the room, slightly wobbling and still somewhat nauseous, and looked around to get her bearings. She had gotten to the bottom of the stairs before realising that  _he_ was up there. The dragonborn had wanted to avoid confrontation at all costs, she didn't want to see him, she didn't want all the what if's to come true. The dragonborn had started hyperventilating, she was scared, more than she's ever been. She collapsed at the bottom of the staircase, so many thoughts racing through her head, she couldn't process them all. She was dizzy, gasping for air, and crying. The one coherent thought was _I_   _shouldn't have come here._ However, she knew the only way to leave was to pass by him, and she couldn't stay here forever. After controlling her breathing as best as possible, the dragonborn got up and slowly went up the stairs. She wanted to make as little noise as possible, hoping she could sneak past her ex-follower, and that he wouldn't notice her. Sadly enough, the poor dragonborn tripped walking up the stairs, attracting just about everyone's attention. Including Teldryn. By the time she got back up, everyone who'd left their seat had gone back, everyone except Teldryn. After wiping the dust off of her armor, they locked eye contact. Talos knows how long they had just stood, staring at each other. The truth is that neither of them knew how to react. They had both been through so much emotional turmoil after their separation, that this whole confrontation seemed like one big dream.

    Not wanting to be stuck here, the dragonborn broke the silence. "Hey." She said in the most casual voice she could muster. However, that obviously wasn't enough to break the awkwardness that had grown in between them. Taking one step up the stairs, the dragonborn had been taken by surprise to see that Teldryn had taken one step  _towards_ her. They both knew that they wanted to lock each other in the tightest, most comforting embrace, but the dragonborn panicked. She sprinted up the rest of the stairs and ran past Teldryn before either of them could properly react. After getting out the door and getting a good distance away from the inn, she collapsed. She couldn't process all these thoughts, all these emotions.  _Happy, sad, angry, what, why, how._ It was almost as if she didn't know anything anymore.all the happy memories they shared, the one bad one that she's absolutely positive ruined the both of them.  _If only he weren't wearing that armor, I could see the true look in his eyes,_ She thought to herself. Maybe she could ask? No, she quickly pushed the thought out of her head, still fearing rejection. 

* * *

 

    Teldryn stood there for quite awhile, unable to process the events that had just transpired. She was here. Back in Solstheim. She tripped going up the stairs, however he never saw her go down. She spoke to him. He walked towards her, out of instinct. He was half tempted to go after her and make sure she was okay, but also wanted to wait until she left. He knew he couldn't leave until she left for her home in Skyrim, but he also couldn't stay here. His house was a short walk away, even if he got dead drunk, he'd still be expected to walk home himself. Teldryn was truly at a loss. Acting out of impulse, he went after her. He thought it would be the best thing to do. Upon exiting the Retching Netch, he quickly spotted the distressed dragonborn. She had collapsed, and plainly out of concern he ran up to her and crouched with her. She was staring at the ground and...  _Crying?_ Teldryn had never seen her act this way before. She was always so happy, and comforting, and she knew how to control her emotions. This had really caught poor Teldryn off guard, and before he knew it he was rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her. The dragonborn looked up, and Teldryn had taken off his helmet. He gave her the most comforting smile she had ever seen. The dragonborn wiped her eyes, and got up. She headed straight for the dock, not even thanking Teldryn for his attempt at comfort. By the time she reached the dock entrance she realised she was out of gold for the ride back, and Solstheim is a very unforgiving place to say the least. She'd be stuck here for at least a week maybe more. Upon turning around, Teldryn was right behind her. Smiling nervously, he finally replied with, "Hey.". The dragonborn scoffed, attempting to seem mad at him still, hoping it was more convincing to him than it was for her. Unfortunately, he noticed the tears welling in her eyes again before she had time to stop them falling onto her already wet fur.

    He wiped the tears quickly, rubbing her cheeks afterwards in an attempt to dry them. His hands on her face, he wanted to take his face and squish it against her's, however Teldryn knew that wasn't right. So instead he settled for pulling her into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around her, one hand holding her head and scratching behind one of her ears, the other one laying on her middle back pulling her in as close as possible. As soon as the dragonborn had held him back, tears were welling in his eyes as well. He buried his face into the dragonborn's shoulder, holding back a sob. As soon as she held him the same way he had just been holding her, the apologies started. Teldryn kept apologising and he didn't know if he could stop because to him, no amount of apologies could make up for what he did.

     In response, the dragonborn kissed the side of his head, and entangled her fingers in his hair, rubbing ever so gently. After Teldryn's "episode" subsided she held his face in her hands, holding his cheeks gently at both sides, and kissed his forehead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I'm sorry the chapters are short I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things

**Author's Note:**

> So this is actually my first ever fan fiction, so I would really appreciate constructive criticism.
> 
> Please tell me if you'd like more chapters to this story.


End file.
